Indian Mascot Offsets
Posted on September 5, 2007 - Filed Under Uncategorized |
INDIAN MASCOT OFFSETS
For the Indian mascot supporter who just cannot let go of their beloved Chiefs, Redskins, Indians, Braves, etc., Honor Indians Institute offers the alternative of last resort, the Indian Mascot Offset. We cannot claim responsibility for the offset concept. We borrow the concept from the global warming/climate change proponents who devised the “carbon offset.” The “carbon offset” is basically the un-utilized carbon dioxide emissions of those that use less than what is considered acceptable. The “carbon offset” is then sold to those who do not want to change their lifestyle, but want to compensate for their excessive carbon dioxide emitting lifestyle. The proceeds of the “carbon offset” are then used to invest in non-carbon emitting fuel sources. The carbon dioxide offender can now maintain their lifestyle and not feel guilty about it. They are safe in the knowledge that they are doing their part to fend off global warming. This is a “win/win” proposition.
Honor Indians Institute believes that Indian mascots are polluting our society by emitting “ignorance dioxides.” We believe that the Indian mascot supporter is emitting more than their fair share of “ignorance dioxides.” For those Indian mascot supporters who just cannot give up their “ignorance dioxide” emitting lifestyle, we offer for sale the Indian Mascot Offset. The Indian Mascot Offset will entitle the purchaser the right to continue on with their lifestyle (wearing Indian mascot hats and jerseys, doing the tomahawk chop during the game, etc.) without the guilt of spewing out their “ignorance dioxides.”
The proceeds from Indian Mascot Offset will be used by Honor Indians Institute to educate students about Indian tribes and tribal members through our classes and lectures. Specifically, the Indian Mascot Offset proceeds will be used to fund student scholarships for Honor Indians Institute classes and lectures. Our students will be tree seedlings that will, once planted, counteract the “ignorance dioxides” emitted by the Indian mascot polluter. The Indian mascot supporter can purchase an “Indian Mascot Season” wristband, available for sale at our “Bookstore,” and enthusiastically do the tomahawk chop, while wearing your Indian mascot cap and jersey. This is another “win/win” proposition.
